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Here are my songs, straight from my notebook, unedited. My newest ones are at the top.
Click a song from the list to autoscroll down to it, or just scroll yourself, wee.

SONGS
DATE
DOWN THE DRAIN
Jun 2005
PIRATES AND DINOSAURS
Jun 2005
HEARTS THAT BEAT ME TO DEATH
Apr 2004
DAMNED CURSE
Apr 2004
DEPRIVED
Dec 2003
EVERYONE(but me)
Dec 2003
A CLOSER LOOK
Aug 2003
CLOSER TO YOU...or not
Aug 2003
MY SEARCH FOR SOMEONE
Sept 2003
INSIDE
Aug 2003
WAITING
Aug 2003
PLEASE DON'T SMILE
Aug 2003
as of yet, untitled
Aug 2003
DECLINATION OF INDENTATION
Aug 2003
as of yet, untitled
Aug 2003
DISGUISED
Aug 2003
TAKE CONTROL, SAVE ME
Aug 2003
as of yet, untitled
Aug 2003
NEED A RELEASE
Aug 2003
A PEACEFUL HEART, NOT A FULL STOMACHE
May 2003
I LOVE YOU
May 2003


DOWN THE DRAIN

drown the rain
plug the drain
giving away causes pain
it's yours to give
but there's a hole in your sive
letting everyone in
i hate to tell you it's a sin
but i'm telling me too
we're both wearing the same shoe
but you've stepped in a little more

poosh that stuff away
posh, that stuff aint shway
what do i have for you, i say
it's only temporary eh
it's only temporary
what you're looking for is

permanence
found in omnipotence
because if you're on the fence
you're on the wrong side
when times up, what is pride?
you've won your life
but are forever lost to live
you let that hole attract you
the one from the sive

push that stuff away
posh, that stuff aint shway
what do i have for you, i say
it's only temporary
it's only temporary
what you're looking for is

your current fiend
"it's all His fault"
your only friend
says "you are the salt"
but you've lost your savor
you've lost your saviour
down the drain


PIRATES AND DINOSAURS

swim to shore
your ship is sunk
your crew is drunk
dinos invade the sea
at a quarter past three
who's that riding a pteradactyl
on it's back you'll look and see
and you'll find me

who's made you sore
and you'll make it to the island still
and let out a cry of hatred shrill
out to location of treasure buried
i won't bother to chase you scurried
to find shelter, to hide
now i'm on your side
i always was, it's a fact i'll
help you out however i can
help you realise money's man

the star of sunrise and gore
you're a victim
you're a threat, Jim
chasing bills sporting bens


HEARTS THAT BEAT ME TO DEATH

As the sun set in my heart
the scene was of masterly evil
would it ever rise again
would you help me rise again
or is it even possible

I sense it coming,
peeling up from the ground
but then a whisper, a sound
murmuring all around
not a ray could escape
nothing took form, or took shape
rough voices said
"what from their black hearts bled
has concealed your sun,
so give up, you're finished, you're done!"
(you're done)
(you're done)
I'm done.

((rise again))
I'm done.
((rise again))
I'm done.
((rise again))
I'm done.


TOP

DAMNED CURSE

I need your arms around me
it's a dream that keeps me alive
damned hope
damned dream
leave me to die
do not mock me
knowing that my dream
it will always be
a dream,
a curse.


DEPRIVED

something for me
in this world
will I ever find?
a friend?
a love?
why is the answer always no?
day after day
week after week
year after year
but no one ever near
so much time alone.
alone.
my life,
deprived of life.


TOP

EVERYONE(but me)

I need your support
please give me comfort
why can't I feel you here?
why do I feel rejected?
please send help from above
I need to feel your love.
It's free, your friendship's a gift
to everyone but me

Please, I pray for a moment
that You can show that Your there
and I will know forever that You care


A CLOSER LOOK

something so beautiful
but also so ugly
everything, so beautiful
drawing me in
from a distance so harmless
but up close it's just sin


TOP

CLOSER TO YOU...or not

They say
everyday
brings me
closer and closer
to you
but will that day even come?
are you there waiting for me too?
how could there be
someone else like me?
I have no friends
no one remotely close
who thinks the way I do?
so here I am
on my search for someone
writing each and every word
so that by you they may be heard
please don't hide
all that's inside
be sure not to be shy
be exactly who you are
be exactly who you want to be
so that if you happen to walk by
I will know,
and together we will cry.


(added later)
beauty of the heart
it's the only part
that matters
to me
so free your heart
let it out to the world
show it in every way
it must be on display


MY SEARCH FOR SOMEONE

here I am
just waiting,
thinking
you'll just walk right in here
and all my troubles will disappear
here I lie
my door wide open
my arms ready to receive
my heart overflowing
ready to pour into yours
our hearts will become one
are you lying there too?
thinking of me thinking of you


if we met now would we turn away?
is it better this moment happen another day?


my search, simplified
glad to be different
but then I have no one
no one forever
I've turned to You
You've turned away,
away.


TOP

INSIDE

It used to mean something All decked out in his punk rock clothes
listening to the words, enjoying the shows.
he goes to school
sees kids trying to be cool
they look the same as him
but there's nothing the same inside of them.
Image destroyed, he tosses out those clothes
finds something new to show what's within
no one would try to pose
but now that's what's in.
Image destroyed, he tosses out those clothes
now this quiet boy has no way to show
and no one will ever know.


WAITING

this pain is fine
I understand why it must be
and I thank-you
the more pain I feel
the more I can appreciate happiness

but when?
when will this happiness come?
I'm waiting
I have been waiting
but when will it come?
am I the only one?
who else has been waiting so long?
when will this happiness come?
thank-you
but when?


TOP

PLEASE DON'T SMILE

Please
be careful with that smile
a shame not to use
but a dangerous weapon somehow

such a beautiful person
should not have
such a beautiful smile

every time I look at you
what am I to do?
for I am defenseless against that
smile

wandering through the forest
with the rain softly pounding the leaves
your steps making the same sound
it is a blur of grey and green
I look to my feet
should have kept my gaze there
lifting my head to your eyes
I didn't make it
Stopped
by that smile, wish you could be mine forever
for that smile could not hold its own beauty
everything around
is made perfect
by your smile
and the grey and green return
again, it's all a blur
... then we took hands and together, we jumped...


as of yet, untitled

the fall of me
thought I was better
I wasn't
how could it happen?
was it my fault?
was it yours?
I hate me
I hate you
forgive me
erase this from my mind


you we're the solution
but you became the problem


TOP

DECLINATION OF INDENTATION

cheap conversation
meaningless dialogue
back and forth
hours and hours
again and again
hey, how are you?
but I don't really care
you say
'what's up?'
and you walk away
shut up
nothing to say
just shut up
it's time to start (caring)
time to part with meaningless dialogue
...
...
I will tell you what's going on
but you don't want to know
why ask?
what am I to say?
nothing. a lie.


as of yet, untitled

naming everything that's wrong
I can't help but name what's right
there's not much left that can go
wrong
when will it go
wrong
I'm waiting for it to go
wrong


TOP

DISGUISED

disguised
you're filled with lies
should I ever trust again
will I ever trust again
I hate myself because I'll trust again
and again
I was so slowly sliding downhill
I did not notice the movement
till I hit the end
or maybe I was always there
with my eyes closed had I imagined
myself better than that
and opening them for the
first time, is this who I am
it cannot be
I hate me


TAKE CONTROL, SAVE ME

I've been flying this my whole life
yet I don't know a thing about it.
I've got no map, no direction to head,
yet I keep on thinking I can do it myself.
The autopilot's off 'cause I can't trust
anyone but me. I should've let you take
control, please come aboard. You can see
ahead, you know the direction I should go.
It's a long way to fall and I've done it before.
I've dipped in the flame, trying to get out of
the storm. Thought the sun would be nice, but
all I found was fire. I was doomed, but you
were there all along. paying attention to
the clouds and lightning, but it was
distracting me this whole time from you.
Thank-you for creating this terrain, taking
control, for you know it best. Why wouldn't
I let you take control.
my life,
is now in your hands.
steer me
guide me
I am now your passenger.
no need for parachutes.
no longer afraid of the storm.
my hands may be on the wheel
but your hands are cupped over mine
steer me
guide me


TOP

as of yet, untitled

something's wrong
I see it, I feel it
I know you can too
but the difference is you turn away
shrug your shoulder, turn your back
we know it's wrong
but the difference is I put a plan to action
so many in the future will have satisfaction
how can you just
shrug your shoulder,
and then turn your back
so many things wrong
you just go along
so much change needed
would it help if I pleaded?
here I am
please
take a stand


NEED A RELEASE

I do not want to react that way
but what else is there to do or say
this sponge is full
stretched beyond its limits
I try to go to you
but I find no one there to help
me, I'm trapped and there's seemingly
no way out.
why do others find an escape
should I be looking or am I just a coward
everyone's life seems so happy
mine just brings me tears
there's something wrong with everything
I even see it in myself


TOP

A PEACEFUL HEART, NOT A FULL STOMACHE

I live in a 3rd World country
this place is worse. I feel dead.
HATE
PAIN
LIES
IMPURITY
JUDGEMENT
Why do you think this place is better?
I could live without
FOOD
SHELTER
MONEY
I wish I was not here
I wish I was there

You've got it wrong...
This is the 3rd World.


I LOVE YOU

Why am I drowning?
Why won't you help me?
Why won't anyone help me?
I try not to lie, steal, hate.
Why are you doing this to me?
I'm trying to understand what makes you
do these things to me.
Maybe you're feeling worse than I am.
Maybe your problems are worse than mine.
Can I help you?
You say I act, think, and dress wrong.
Why?
Do you wish you were like me?
Are you scared?
I'm willing to help you.
Why don't you appreciate the respect
I have for everyone?
I won't try to be who you think I should be.
Do your clothes make you feel better?
Do you like your thoughts?
Do you like how you act?
Does my pain comfort you?
Why?


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